It was an awkward transition to make. Most of the people who were supporting my family and I as missionaries know us well and love us dearly. They know our hearts and our desire to follow the Lord's leading. They understand God, His will, and how sometimes we have our course adjusted by Him. They love us and they are supportive of my new ministry with City Impact.
BUT......
There is still a creeping feeling that pops its head up from time to time. That voice that says "YOU FAILED", "YOU DIDN'T SEE IT THROUGH", "YOU QUIT"......judgment, condemnation, and guilt. This does not come from the people that supported us, the organization we were with, friends, family, or loved ones...it come from the enemy! I don't like letting people down!Sometimes I feel like I have...
Then I get a blessing that reminds me: The Lord is GOOD and I am exactly where He wants me!
The students at ILA have really started to connect to us! Caleb and Faith enjoy going to Sunday Nights. Renee is fitting in well with the HS girls class. I have herd that some of the students refer to me as "preacher". I had the opportunity to cook for all of our kids and staff last weekend, pasta of course! I am knee deep in planning an Easter service for our students and working on the curriculum for our next Bible Study. Awesome ministry, perfectly fits....but still sometimes that voice.
Renee ran into a pastor and theologian we know last week... She shared some of those feelings we have sometimes had....He simply replied "That's NONSENSE, you are right where God wants you to be! Michael and you were made for a job with City Impact."
That message also came through in sharing my story with the staff of Tuesday Night Bible Club. Everyone was so supportive and there is evidence of God's leading us to this ministry.
Finally I was listening to the Christian Radio and they were talking about how we are to be faithful to God's calling! We don't look at Abraham as a failure for not going through with sacrificing his son, but rather we celebrate him for the fact he was willing to give up everything for God. God simply changed his direction after Abraham stepped out in faith. Abraham was willing to follow God, even while looking at a deep personal loss. Why? Because he had faith; that God knew what He was doing; that God had Abraham's best interests in mind; that God had a bigger plan that Abraham didn't understand! Abraham knew all of these things, he must have, otherwise how could he have been faithful to what God asked him to do? How could he have looked at his son and said "God will provide the ram". He was not a quitter, God changed his direction!
Just like He has changed mine! Thank you all for the kind words of encouragement!
Thanks for being you Mike. I really appreciated your transparency on Tuesday night, and today's blog post.
ReplyDeleteUmmm A-stinking-MEN!!!! You were perfectly crafted for this job! I'm so proud of you and the family :-)
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