One of my families' favorite types of pasta, so very easy to make and full of flavor. Pasta Carbonana is made with Bacon, Egg, and Cheese. Mine is a bit different than other recipes, but this is the way I was taught to make it....still simple and easy.
1 lb. of your favorite type of pasta noodles, traditionally it is made with spaghetti, but I like Farfalle
1 package of bacon (you can use pancetta if you like) - chopped into 1/4 inch pieces.
1 small onion -chopped
2 eggs
1/2 cup of Parmesan cheese (grated or shredded)
2-3 leaves of fresh Sweet Basil (chopped) (1/2 teaspoon of dried)
pinch of sugar
dash of balsamic vinegar
2 T. of butter
2 T. of flour
About 1 1/2 cups Milk - I use whole Milk (you could use 2% or half and half, but I would't use anything less)
salt and pepper to taste
optional - 3/4 cup of fresh peas or 1 can
Boil water for pasta in your stock pot, remember to salt water, it boils hotter and cooks the noodles better. You should be able to complete all other steps in time it take for water to boil and cook pasta if you have 10 min. noodles, use cold tap water, and have pre-choped other ingredients.
In an medium mixing bowl combine 1 cup of milk, eggs, cheese, basil, beat until mixed and set off to the side.
In a skillet, fry bacon after chopping into small pieces. Get it nice and crispy, you will want that texture. Drain mostly but keep just a touch of the fat (about 1 T.) in the pan. Return skillet with a bit of fat back to burner and place onions in to saute and caramelize once they start to cook down add the pinch of sugar. Onions and fat will deglaze the pan, if not fully add just a dash of balsamic vinegar and allow to cook down. Add back in bacon (peas too) and turn down to a low simmer.
In a medium sauce pan start a roux by melting butter over low heat. Add flour and stir constantly until combined, add egg mixture and let cook for about 30 seconds. Pour into skillet with bacon continue to let cook down, it will thicken as it simmers, add more milk if sauce becomes too thick. Add a little bit of salt and pepper to taste.
Drain pasta, combine sauce and pasta in your pasta serving dish and enjoy!
Monday, January 26, 2015
Friday, January 23, 2015
Eddie Vedder, Jeff Ament, and Me
So... there is one more goal I have for this year, and I have been remiss to speak about this one for a long time. I have had in my head for a long time the idea/concept for a short film based on the music of Pearl Jam. In fact it has been marinating for the better part of a decade. So why the hesitenty to talk about this one... or to even put pen to paper to finish it, Now that I think would make an interesting blog post. I think it boils down to three reasons; in no particular order.....
A lack of confidence, sacred vs. secular, and motivation....
A lack of confidence is odd for me, in fact one of my top 5 Gallup strengths is self-assurance. I have written hundreds of dramas, scripts, and performance pieces. I love drama and creativity, so you think that a lack of confidence would never be a problem, well....(here come the excuses) I have never written a script for a film before, what if it stinks, what if you do it all wrong, what if someone else reads it and says this is awful. If''ing my way to paralysis and never getting anywhere than a thought....
Sacred vs secular is harder. I love Pearl Jam's music, I have since I first discovered it, so full of emotion and felling, well told stories that I related to in ways I could always understand... they seemed to give me a voice that I did not know how to convey as a young, scared, and fragile man full of dysfunction. I got them. But the first time I was aware of problem was when I happened to wear a Pearl Jam tee (not uncommon for a 19 year old version of me) to a pre-marital counseling session for Renee and I, the person from the church we were meeting with was very disappointed that I listened to that kind of music and told me "garbage in, garbage out" which in hindsight seems to contradict some of Jesus' teachings but the message was clear - you cannot listen to this type of music if you are going to follow Jesus. While I now see the folly in this theology, it is still a hotly contested topic in evangelical circles. There is no shortage of well-intentioned brothers and sisters who will tell you exactly what you should or more importantly what you should NOT listen, read, watch, play, or wear. Mostly these are personal convictions that they put on others in the form of judgment while making themselves feel better. If that sounds like legalism ... it is! God's Spirit has not convicted me while listening to Pearl Jam, if that would happen I would stop, there are certain artist I will not support, games I will not play, movies I will not watch but that is all between God and me.
Finally motivation, but maybe not like you would think. If I sat down to write this out... I would want to see it through. It would not be okay enough for me to just write it out...I would want to take that script and see it to completion, I would want to take that idea and see it come to life. I would want to spend time with people I know (who also love film) and try my best to see this made. I would have to figure out how to get a hold of the band and see if they would 1. let me use their music and 2. how to get it made.... all of that seems very complicated to me, which generally moves me back to the question of confidence.
Here's to this year, to seeing this project done.
A lack of confidence, sacred vs. secular, and motivation....
A lack of confidence is odd for me, in fact one of my top 5 Gallup strengths is self-assurance. I have written hundreds of dramas, scripts, and performance pieces. I love drama and creativity, so you think that a lack of confidence would never be a problem, well....(here come the excuses) I have never written a script for a film before, what if it stinks, what if you do it all wrong, what if someone else reads it and says this is awful. If''ing my way to paralysis and never getting anywhere than a thought....
Sacred vs secular is harder. I love Pearl Jam's music, I have since I first discovered it, so full of emotion and felling, well told stories that I related to in ways I could always understand... they seemed to give me a voice that I did not know how to convey as a young, scared, and fragile man full of dysfunction. I got them. But the first time I was aware of problem was when I happened to wear a Pearl Jam tee (not uncommon for a 19 year old version of me) to a pre-marital counseling session for Renee and I, the person from the church we were meeting with was very disappointed that I listened to that kind of music and told me "garbage in, garbage out" which in hindsight seems to contradict some of Jesus' teachings but the message was clear - you cannot listen to this type of music if you are going to follow Jesus. While I now see the folly in this theology, it is still a hotly contested topic in evangelical circles. There is no shortage of well-intentioned brothers and sisters who will tell you exactly what you should or more importantly what you should NOT listen, read, watch, play, or wear. Mostly these are personal convictions that they put on others in the form of judgment while making themselves feel better. If that sounds like legalism ... it is! God's Spirit has not convicted me while listening to Pearl Jam, if that would happen I would stop, there are certain artist I will not support, games I will not play, movies I will not watch but that is all between God and me.
Finally motivation, but maybe not like you would think. If I sat down to write this out... I would want to see it through. It would not be okay enough for me to just write it out...I would want to take that script and see it to completion, I would want to take that idea and see it come to life. I would want to spend time with people I know (who also love film) and try my best to see this made. I would have to figure out how to get a hold of the band and see if they would 1. let me use their music and 2. how to get it made.... all of that seems very complicated to me, which generally moves me back to the question of confidence.
Here's to this year, to seeing this project done.
Tuesday, January 20, 2015
Dr. King and adoption... the same heartbeat
This was scheduled to post on Monday Jan.19th, sorry it is a day late.
I have long been haunted by a comment that is attributed to Dr. Martin Luther King, "The most segregated hour in America happens on Sunday mornings." Dr. King was looking at the cultural influence of the Church and commenting on the fact that as a whole the Church had systematically failed in bringing about some of the things promised in scripture, that we are a new creation in Christ where background, social-economic standings, and race do not mater; we are all Children of God through faith in Christ and He is weaving us together in a new culture that is different from the world. But the Church in the USA had done the opposite of that as a whole (not to say some individual churches we not doing great things); the church was supporting the idea of separate but equal in not in words but at least in deeds.
Almost 50 years later Lecrae said this is still true of U.S. Church culture. The church is not leading the charge of racial integration, we are sill living in segregated church bodies. Maybe even more so today, as many churches have picked up on marketing to a certain niche of people, we have churches for all types of sub-cultures; cowboy or hipster, seekers or young professionals, suburban or urban; sub-section upon sub-section that makes us feel more divided instead of united.
THIS REALLY BOTHERS ME! I long for a church where people from every background, worship together as Jesus creates a culture like promised in Galatians. I long for the day when people of all colors worship God through a lens where all are equally heirs of The King (which we are) in one body and Spirit. And I questioned why this is so hard to find in our modern day church. Why are Dr. King's words still relevant today?????
What I didn't realize until reading a book recently is this may be something that is hardwired in me because of our story walking the the process of adoption. I have spoken with Renee and several friends who are pastors and pray for me about my heart for a multi-ethnic church. It was Renee who was reading the book Adopted for Life by Russell D. Moore when she said, you have to read this book....this sounds so much like what you have been talking about! And it is like the author has peered into my heart, here is a long excerpt that I so identify with, I want to plant a church like this at some point in my career....
We're all designed for community-for brothers and sisters. That's why feminists speak so much about how powerful "sisterhood" is. It's why terrorist cells refer to their "brothers" who are readying themselves, too, for the revolution. It's why members of fraternities or sororities on college campuses name themselves "brothers" or "sisters". We all find brotherhood, for good or for ill, whether it's in a labor union, an international peacekeeping organization, or the Ku Kulx Klan. We'll identify ourselves by who is "one of us"-part of our "tribe". Unfortunately,this brotherhood is skin deep.
Our Churches fall for the same thing all of the time. We can buy Bibles in niche editions- in the colors of our favorite sports teams or with study notes custom-made for our demographic group, whether we're recovering alcoholics or single mothers or theological intellectuals. We order our worship services around our age groups, with music designed to remind each generation of whatever was playing at the youth rallies of their college days. Our congregations are made up of people who look, talk, and think just like we do. And it never occurs to us that this is the same type of unity the world has to offer. Even in our churches, we seem to identify ourselves more according to the corporate brands we buy and the political parties we support than with each other.
Our adoption means, though, that we find a different kind of unity. In Christ, we find Christ. We don't have our old identities based on race or class situation. The Spirit drives us from Babel to Pentecost, which is why "the works of the flesh" Paul warns about include "enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, distentions, divisions, and envy" and so forth (Gal. 5:19-21). When we find our identity anywhere other than Christ, our churches will be made up of warring partisans rather than loving siblings. And we'll picture to the world an autopsied Body of Christ, with a little bit of Jesus for everyone, all on our own terms (1 Cor. 1:12-13).
What would it mean, though, if we took the radical notion of being brothers and sisters seriously? What would happen if your church saw an elderly woman no one would ever confuse as "cool" on her knees at the front of the church praying with a body pierced fifteen-year-old anorexic girl? What would happen if your church saw a white millionaire cooperate vice president being mentored by a Latino minimum wage earning janitor because both know the janitor is more mature in the things of Christ?
If we had fewer "white" churches and "black" churches, fewer "blue-collar" churches and "white-collar" churches, maybe we'd see better what Jesus tells when he says we've come into a new household with one Spirit, one Father, and one Christ.
TO that I say AMEN!
I have long been haunted by a comment that is attributed to Dr. Martin Luther King, "The most segregated hour in America happens on Sunday mornings." Dr. King was looking at the cultural influence of the Church and commenting on the fact that as a whole the Church had systematically failed in bringing about some of the things promised in scripture, that we are a new creation in Christ where background, social-economic standings, and race do not mater; we are all Children of God through faith in Christ and He is weaving us together in a new culture that is different from the world. But the Church in the USA had done the opposite of that as a whole (not to say some individual churches we not doing great things); the church was supporting the idea of separate but equal in not in words but at least in deeds.
Almost 50 years later Lecrae said this is still true of U.S. Church culture. The church is not leading the charge of racial integration, we are sill living in segregated church bodies. Maybe even more so today, as many churches have picked up on marketing to a certain niche of people, we have churches for all types of sub-cultures; cowboy or hipster, seekers or young professionals, suburban or urban; sub-section upon sub-section that makes us feel more divided instead of united.
THIS REALLY BOTHERS ME! I long for a church where people from every background, worship together as Jesus creates a culture like promised in Galatians. I long for the day when people of all colors worship God through a lens where all are equally heirs of The King (which we are) in one body and Spirit. And I questioned why this is so hard to find in our modern day church. Why are Dr. King's words still relevant today?????
What I didn't realize until reading a book recently is this may be something that is hardwired in me because of our story walking the the process of adoption. I have spoken with Renee and several friends who are pastors and pray for me about my heart for a multi-ethnic church. It was Renee who was reading the book Adopted for Life by Russell D. Moore when she said, you have to read this book....this sounds so much like what you have been talking about! And it is like the author has peered into my heart, here is a long excerpt that I so identify with, I want to plant a church like this at some point in my career....
We're all designed for community-for brothers and sisters. That's why feminists speak so much about how powerful "sisterhood" is. It's why terrorist cells refer to their "brothers" who are readying themselves, too, for the revolution. It's why members of fraternities or sororities on college campuses name themselves "brothers" or "sisters". We all find brotherhood, for good or for ill, whether it's in a labor union, an international peacekeeping organization, or the Ku Kulx Klan. We'll identify ourselves by who is "one of us"-part of our "tribe". Unfortunately,this brotherhood is skin deep.
Our Churches fall for the same thing all of the time. We can buy Bibles in niche editions- in the colors of our favorite sports teams or with study notes custom-made for our demographic group, whether we're recovering alcoholics or single mothers or theological intellectuals. We order our worship services around our age groups, with music designed to remind each generation of whatever was playing at the youth rallies of their college days. Our congregations are made up of people who look, talk, and think just like we do. And it never occurs to us that this is the same type of unity the world has to offer. Even in our churches, we seem to identify ourselves more according to the corporate brands we buy and the political parties we support than with each other.
Our adoption means, though, that we find a different kind of unity. In Christ, we find Christ. We don't have our old identities based on race or class situation. The Spirit drives us from Babel to Pentecost, which is why "the works of the flesh" Paul warns about include "enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, distentions, divisions, and envy" and so forth (Gal. 5:19-21). When we find our identity anywhere other than Christ, our churches will be made up of warring partisans rather than loving siblings. And we'll picture to the world an autopsied Body of Christ, with a little bit of Jesus for everyone, all on our own terms (1 Cor. 1:12-13).
What would it mean, though, if we took the radical notion of being brothers and sisters seriously? What would happen if your church saw an elderly woman no one would ever confuse as "cool" on her knees at the front of the church praying with a body pierced fifteen-year-old anorexic girl? What would happen if your church saw a white millionaire cooperate vice president being mentored by a Latino minimum wage earning janitor because both know the janitor is more mature in the things of Christ?
If we had fewer "white" churches and "black" churches, fewer "blue-collar" churches and "white-collar" churches, maybe we'd see better what Jesus tells when he says we've come into a new household with one Spirit, one Father, and one Christ.
TO that I say AMEN!
Sunday, January 11, 2015
Really? That's so 20 years ago!
So I read a blog post today from a prominent Christian author, he was lamenting the "fascination of the American culture with death". His justification for this stance was the booming popularity of the television show The Walking Dead and "violent video games like Mortal Kombat". And it was maddening to me on a few levels.
1. Mortal Kombat is a game that reached its highest peaks some 20 years ago. It was the reason that video games are now rated for content by the ESRB, it is violent and it is bloody, but it is in no way a reflection of the current culture, as it is not really culturally relevant, except if a cable channel is doing a retrospective show of the 1990's. There are plenty of violent video games, many which I would not condone...so why would you pick one from the 90's?
2. The Walking Dead is a cultural phenomenon, highest rated show on cable television, maybe even better numbers than Duck Dynasty. It is violent and brutal... but there is as much if not more "Biblical Content" on this show than any other Hollywood produced show. The reaches down to fundamental questions about humanity, it shows how bad things can and do get when we "as humans" determine morality for ourselves. It is the far extreme of relativism. There are a number of characters that directly quote or read from the Bible. There currently is a Pastor as one of the main characters, who when things went poorly did not do what he/or the church should do and is now in a great deal of pain and remorse for it.
So my real issue is this, we (including me) Christians are sometimes so detached from society as a whole we are unengaged in the conversations happening in our culture. If Christians (and by the way I do know many who watch the show) were able to engage our culture through a show like the Walking Dead and some of the great questions of faith it may raise; and have great Godly conversations based on a very popular show why wouldn't we be doing that? Instead mostly we sit in Ivory Towers heaping condemnation on this culture and society, tell everyone what we are against, but rarely what we are for. We hide behind our own piousness and lament on how far this culture is from our God and we point to the "awful" examples of art and expression as proof of our stance, but we would never soil ourselves by watching or partaking in such filth! We would never understand how to talk to people not of our faith because we are slowly isolating ourselves so much, that when we do need to make a point about our culture we point to something that is long past or well out of context.
We need to wake up to the world around us. God has us here and now for a purpose...it is not to hide and wait for Jesus return. We need to use whatever cultural settings we can to point people to the One who created all things! That is the way Paul and the early church did it!
1. Mortal Kombat is a game that reached its highest peaks some 20 years ago. It was the reason that video games are now rated for content by the ESRB, it is violent and it is bloody, but it is in no way a reflection of the current culture, as it is not really culturally relevant, except if a cable channel is doing a retrospective show of the 1990's. There are plenty of violent video games, many which I would not condone...so why would you pick one from the 90's?
2. The Walking Dead is a cultural phenomenon, highest rated show on cable television, maybe even better numbers than Duck Dynasty. It is violent and brutal... but there is as much if not more "Biblical Content" on this show than any other Hollywood produced show. The reaches down to fundamental questions about humanity, it shows how bad things can and do get when we "as humans" determine morality for ourselves. It is the far extreme of relativism. There are a number of characters that directly quote or read from the Bible. There currently is a Pastor as one of the main characters, who when things went poorly did not do what he/or the church should do and is now in a great deal of pain and remorse for it.
So my real issue is this, we (including me) Christians are sometimes so detached from society as a whole we are unengaged in the conversations happening in our culture. If Christians (and by the way I do know many who watch the show) were able to engage our culture through a show like the Walking Dead and some of the great questions of faith it may raise; and have great Godly conversations based on a very popular show why wouldn't we be doing that? Instead mostly we sit in Ivory Towers heaping condemnation on this culture and society, tell everyone what we are against, but rarely what we are for. We hide behind our own piousness and lament on how far this culture is from our God and we point to the "awful" examples of art and expression as proof of our stance, but we would never soil ourselves by watching or partaking in such filth! We would never understand how to talk to people not of our faith because we are slowly isolating ourselves so much, that when we do need to make a point about our culture we point to something that is long past or well out of context.
We need to wake up to the world around us. God has us here and now for a purpose...it is not to hide and wait for Jesus return. We need to use whatever cultural settings we can to point people to the One who created all things! That is the way Paul and the early church did it!
Saturday, January 3, 2015
Voice
In November, Renee and I were part of a group that put on a Foster Care summit at a Church here in Lincoln. The leaders asked me to perform a monologue/skit/ dramatic something as part of the event. I thought about what this would be and I ended up writing this poem/piece about foster care from the perspective of an 8 ish year old. I titled it Voice. Enjoy!
Voice
You chose to ride
your glass dragon
Filled with a huff
and puff
In a cloud of smoke my life was upended
As if termites;
eating at the foundation of
My life everything I
know is
Lost and condemned
Days 1-5 are hard to
remember
Flashes of emotions;
red black and yellow
Like watching a
movie, I am living someone else’s life
This isn’t my bed; I
can’t get comfortable it’s too soft
Like sleeping inside
of a pillow
I can’t find a
position where I can breathe
Day 9 - I start to
wake from the haze of the last week
The vacation is over
and I know that I am not going home
But I got to see
you, and I hoped
Maybe you could
explain this to me or apologize
Or make it all
better like when you would kiss the
Boo-boo on my knee,
somehow that magic you shared
Is gone… WHY!!!????
Day 23 and a half - I
am being smothered
Like a bug smashed
under a tissue or wearing a sweater
In the middle of the
hottest summer day or walking a mile
In shoes that are a
size too small, they are really nice
But why do they keep
looking at me like that
Why would they care
about me when you couldn’t?
I need to find a way
to grasp onto some control
Day 41 – finally
something makes sense and I have
Found a way to see
something predictable
When I claw, bite,
and fight I see the
Tears I was so used
to seeing between you and dad
Only this time I say
when they get to come
And making them
appear can be so much
Control …
predictable…
Day 87 –They are
still here and you are gone
I am not even sure I
want to see you ever again
But it's Thursday; I'll get picked up in the van
I hate it! It is
dirty and stained. You can
Smell the tears of
the other kids forced to ride it
Some going home;
others crying as they are ripped away
Day 103 - They took
me to church and for the first time I heard
I was told that I am
cared for and loved
By a God who creates
and cares for all He makes,
Yet somehow I don’t
feel like a masterpiece, that’s not me
I am paint by numbers
with colors that don’t match right
Cheap and distorted
… trash
Day 188 – This room
smells
Oder as thick as the
wooden bench and tables
Why are we here,
when I see you I am not sure what to feel?
I want to go home,
but I remember the hurt
You instilled.
Mostly how you just didn’t
Care I was hungry,
dirty, and scared… I just want to feel safe
Day 235 – I hate my
birthday!
They tried so hard
to make it special and it was
I had spaghetti and
meatballs and I even got a cake
It was too much
attention… then you didn’t show up
All I wanted was to
see you these stupid presents
They could have
saved their money the cracking
And shattering of
the plastic as I twist
Smash and break
feels like my heart…where were you!
Day 276 - I am done
crying
Done feeling like I
have betrayed you
Done feeling like
this isn’t my home
My bed is now sunk
in in the parts I like
My impression is
left in the sheets when I wake up
This is my new
normal
Day 365 – Has it
been a year?
Memories orbiting
back in; of the night when
All gravity ceased
to exist
The world got turned
upside down and
A supernova
explosion left nothing but chaos
And despair….
Day 400 - The church
again…this time
Something even more
extraordinary:
So he decided long
ago to adopt us as his children.
He did it because of
what Jesus Christ has done.
It pleased God to do it.
All those things bring praise to his glorious
grace.
God freely gave us
his grace because of the One he loves.
Can he really mean me?
Day 462 – This is
over… I am never going home
It not like that is
even home anymore
The shot of the
gavel ringing out
Cannot even be heard
over the
Final piece of my
heart that breaks
For what we once
were… family
What does this all
mean now?
Day 515 or Day 1 – Another
gavel shot
This one rings with
a different tune
Family has been redefined
and renewed
MY MOM quotes
I prayed for this child.
The Lord has given
me what I asked him for.
So now I’m giving
him to the Lord.
As long as he lives
he’ll be given to the Lord.”
And all of them
worshiped the Lord there.
Thursday, January 1, 2015
2015 - Welcome New Year/ New Focus
I am not a big fan of "New Year's Resolutions", half-hearted attempts to make changes in one's life, that has been made several years previously, with little follow through or commitment.
But I am starting to better understand the idea of goal setting. I have had conversations with several people over the last part of 2014 where they, or they and their spouse have gone away together to set goals for the upcoming year. While this practice seems a bit odd, spending a vacation to plan what "success" looks like for the year, instead of spending a vacation relaxing or on a roller-coaster; I think I getting to the point where I see the need to put pen to paper on things I would like to see accomplished this year, however, this is all at the Grace and mercy of God because He will guide and direct my path, I am merely planing my steps.
Goals for 2015
1. Blog... twice a week at least, I will be seeing a lot of you all!
2. Get finances in order...somehow. See posts on My Biggest Failure, tiered of the same old same old.
3. Potty Training for Little Man, this will probably happen later in the year, but it will be nice to be diaper free.
4. Help guide my oldest to a good decision about college, go on a few visits with him. He has it narrowed down, cant believe he is graduating in May.
5. Take a family vacation!!!
6. Celebrate well; Birthdays, Anniversaries, Graduation and find joy in everyday moments.
7. Be a better friend, sometimes I feel quite lonely... I am not sure how great I am at maintaining friendships.
8. Be obedient to God's call in my life.
But I am starting to better understand the idea of goal setting. I have had conversations with several people over the last part of 2014 where they, or they and their spouse have gone away together to set goals for the upcoming year. While this practice seems a bit odd, spending a vacation to plan what "success" looks like for the year, instead of spending a vacation relaxing or on a roller-coaster; I think I getting to the point where I see the need to put pen to paper on things I would like to see accomplished this year, however, this is all at the Grace and mercy of God because He will guide and direct my path, I am merely planing my steps.
Goals for 2015
1. Blog... twice a week at least, I will be seeing a lot of you all!
2. Get finances in order...somehow. See posts on My Biggest Failure, tiered of the same old same old.
3. Potty Training for Little Man, this will probably happen later in the year, but it will be nice to be diaper free.
4. Help guide my oldest to a good decision about college, go on a few visits with him. He has it narrowed down, cant believe he is graduating in May.
5. Take a family vacation!!!
6. Celebrate well; Birthdays, Anniversaries, Graduation and find joy in everyday moments.
7. Be a better friend, sometimes I feel quite lonely... I am not sure how great I am at maintaining friendships.
8. Be obedient to God's call in my life.
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